jiaying. (:
fifth april.

family, friends & dance

HCMAD<3 07S79 adeline ann audrey ainan bertilla charmaine cherylchang clarice estelle ezra huitian jess jiayi jiayun joanne kelvin liuqian meiling mianrong mieoteng nicholas nicole qianying ruixiong sherene serene shionyee siyu stacy tisiana tingyu thomas vanessagoh xianhuan xiyu xueen yueyang yunning
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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

been blog surfing just now. haha some blogs are just so inspiring. and some people can just blog on and on and on without stopping and we still bother to read. how amazing. haha. i cant do that. i shall try someday. but i just realised MUCH TO MY HORROR i haven don the physics magnestism ivle quiz yet and the deadline's today. GAWD. kk to ivle people.

there's dance tmr! amazonic never fails to bring back memories of a hat full of stars<3

I HAVE A JAPANESE NAME AHAHA :D

Your Japanese Name Is...

Takako Kawashi

AW MAN THIS IS KINDA TRUE. I MEAN THE "youre likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out." HAHA. im not that sure about the first two lines.. and i just realised DONUT came from DOUGHnut haha :D

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

HEY I <3 THIS SONG this is such a coincidence. at least i got smth i like :D

Your 2005 Song Is

Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani "This shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S)" For you, 2005 was the Best Year Ever.

REALLY MEH.

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

I WILL REMEMBER THIS. follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weakness

You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

THEY SEE ME LIKE THAT, CIS IM LIKE THAT. ):

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

haha agreed :D tell me is it accurate.

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable. Overall, your true self is creative and expressive. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

explain why la!

You are

You Are Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream

You just don't know when you've had enough (or too much)!

i CAN be alot happier.

You Are 28% Happy

You're not miserable, but you could stand to be a lot happier. Focus on what's right in the world, and you'll be happier than you ever thought possible.

anyway i kinda changed the url yeah.

i got alot of things to say! but somehow they cant come to mind now. it's always like that. damn annoying. okay. i shall blog a long long post the next time round. and im counting down to my birthday! [i have a feeling no one will remember, perhaps thats what making me feel kinda down these days.] SIGHS.

okay this is such a damn sad post. tata.

im all alone in school how pathetic ):

anyway i just on-ed the radio perfect ten. and it's like this whoever talking away i was so sick of him i walked to take my disc and wanted to listen to it instead. but just at that instead crash by gwen stefani came on i <3 that song! haha so i let the radio continue (: and then i told it will end and the whoever will start talking again. all about us by t.a.t.u came on! the song we kept listening to nowadays cos mr raj loves it so much. haha such a coincidence okay i think you all will think im really lame but it's like if i were at home i wld probably listen to these two songs over and over again and they just came on radio one after another(:
okay THIS IS totally RANDOM. and the whoever (i realised it's a girl's voice) started her talking. oh wells.
sometimes in life things happen when you least expect it.

it's all about us;

haiwei: i haven heard from you for so long! will get your letter to you asap dear!
chit: hey chit(:
hilary: yea man i really really really miss hatfull. and amazonic!!<3 SIGH.

the tap dancers from chij bukit timah primary are really really really really GOOD in tap man(: triple whatever steps and stuff. damn good. i cant catch up with them. it's like how i cant catch up with the world.

we did amazonic today! it was when the music came on that i realised how much i missed amazonic<3 the wonderful time spent on the stage for hatfull. SIGH. and even though we're doing amazonic again for the esplanade show, it doesnt feel the same. IT IS JUST NOT THE SAME. with 67 (?) people squeezing into amazonic. sigh. damn sad.
i miss hatfull. a hat full of stars. nymd' o5 <3


sometimes i really really cant stand you. all of you. who have nothing better to do but to open that mouth of yours and talk crap all day. and the best (or worst) thing is you dont do it once or twice. you say you say AND YOU CONTINUE SAYING. cant you see how irritating it is for me. i'm sick and tired of explaining. explaining more than once. explained. and you start all over again. please can you get the facts into your head and talk more constructive stuff. or you can just SHUDDUP.

im randomly amusing myself with these lame quizzes. everyone knows it's the computer at work though. sigh. sometimes we just need some crap to entertain us.


what the hell. this makes me sound like a SICKOO. XD

jiaying's lame-ass excuse to break up: "I was really just in love with your pants the whole time" 'What is your lame-ass excuse to break up?' at QuizGalaxy.com

whats this (below) anyway!

jiaying's new nickname is: "Van Gogh"

'What is your new nickname?' at QuizGalaxy.com

HAHAHA this is so amusing:

jiaying -- [adjective]: Similar to butter in texture and appearance 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Tastes like Cherries

'What will your business card say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

isnt Prince the people or guy or whoever who sang wildwildwest?

Your Theme Song: "When Doves Cry" - Prince 'What is your theme song?' at QuizGalaxy.com

it's amazing how my mother dont understand me.
for all she knows every single person i know acts like me and THEY dont get bombarded by their mothers like that.
but i really love her too. I DONT KNOW. i know she's going thru a tough time too. i know she did alot for us. but sometimes she just pisses me off. she just dont understand. shld i be feeling guilty.
mothers, hate them or love them. what can i say.

my life is turning into some sort of crap. nothing has been going right. to start off, my studies are like crap. im flunking. somehow i got no motivation to study, but who knows maybe it is just an excuse. and cca. dont need to talk abt dance. imgettingdisappointedconstantly.how nice it is to get thrown so high up in the air and then smacked down again. i suppose im just not cut down for dance. its just not my thing. im thinking maybe i shall have nothing to do with it anymore after this year. maybe i shld not even try to have anything to do with it. I WILL MISS IT. afterall it has been in my life since primary3. but what choice do i have since i suck at it so much. never mind, it's just a thought. life at home sucks. it's enough with a grandma who's always freaking me out. now my mom wants to have a hand in everything i do. sometimes i think i feel even better talking to MY GRANDMA instead of MY MOTHER. my grandma listens and tell me the right stuff. sometimes SOMETIMES i can even feel her concern. although she's like i dont know what when she has mood swings. my mother. some time ago i wanted her attention. I WANTED. you dont care. didnt give a damn. thinks im too childish and everything i said has got nothing to do with you and is so so irrelevant like im talking crap. now you come along and demands to know where and what and who whatever and stuff im doing and asks me to tell you stuff. no thanks. remember that time i wanted your attention i desperately asked you to listen to me I LITERALLY BEGGED YOU. YOU SHUT ME UP. NOW i dont give a damn. I JUST WANT MY PRIVACY.

i want to move back to northvale and when that happens I WANT TO LOCK MY DOOR. shut the world out. shut all the crap out. and only look at the beautiful side from my bedroom balcony<3 i miss northvale.

myfriends. you are all that is keeping me alive. words of concern that tell me so much. at least i still have you. my friends. who understands. my dancemates<3 especially nymd secfours'06. and my friends(: thankyou guys. i dont know what i would be doing now without all of you. who listen. who understand. who told me everything is gonna be fine. who let me have fun and enjoy myself for a few hours or even mins despite the horrible life im leading. who told me everybody have their own troubles and what we shld do is to look on the bright side. it's amazing how i can always tell people to be positive and i cant do it myself. thankyou darlings<3 i love you all. i really do.

it's time i think. perhaps im just not cut out for it afterall.
dance.
CRUSHED. asmackinmyface.

watched yours mine and ours today. funny and meaningful(: imagine 18 kids living in a lighthouse. how cool(: there is this story about the beautiful lighthouse keeper. and becos her lover is a sailor and he is worried that she will find another guy when he is out at sea. so there is this really sweet thing she said, "as long as the light (at the lighthouse) is lit, my heart will always be yours," XD cant remember the exact words, but! SO SWEET RIGHT. then whenever he is out at sea he will look up and when he sees the beautiful light shining, he knows that true love always remains :D touching<3.


i dono if what i did was right. sorry if i disappointed you.

as long as the light is lit, my heart will always be yours;

okay uh this is totally random but im like really depressed now worried abt something which i had no idea whats it i think listening to greenwaves make me really emotional and stuff and i feel like crying. but the song rocks. <3

Greenwaves
With Karen Matheson


I remember a meadow one morning in May
With a sky full of dreams that sailed in that day
I was dancing through green waves of grass like the sea
And for a moment in time I could feel I was free

There are waves of forgiveness and waves of regret
And the first waves of true love I'll never forget
In the meadow that morning as I wandered alone
There were green waves of yearning for life still unknown

Chorus:
Take me home to the meadow that cradles my heart
Where the waves reach as far as you can see
Take me home to the meadow, we've been too long apart
I can still hear you calling for me

(Chorus)

What I'd give to remember that heavenly state
Just a moment in time all mine to create
As I'm taking my last breath I know what I will see
There'll be green waves forever out there waiting for me

(Chorus)

uh yeah dance tmr! that also means DA' AUDITIONS. gna be so damn freakky i guess. and i haven done carribean blue for like weeks, since the last dance prac which was like uh! two weeks ago. shucks. goodluck jiaying(: you'll need it.

had a fun time laughing at zouzhaos house yesterday. SUPPOSED to do chem SIA. but oh wells it was really funny. zouzhao was telling me about this person who is such a big flirrtt. the way she flirts kinda disgusts me. hahahahaha.

imagine sky high above, in carribean blue;

when in doubt, dance. thats about it.

we are the dancers. we create the dreams;

it is pretty amazing to see alot of my frends online last night at like 2am. everybody doing portfolio XD it's pretty fascinating to see so many familiar faces today in the school library. all doing portfolio. HAHA like. funny. i was one of them too! :D uh! yueyang told me like at 5pm she was standing at her hostel room window or something and saw so many people rushing in to hand in thir portfolio. haha.

anyway! im so looking forward to dance but whenever i get reminded that there's carribean blue auditions the next dance session i kinda dread it :x today sharon said she's proud of the modern dancers :D I AM TOO. HEHE.

tag replies
wong joon wee: huh?
jing: whos nat! and yes i read your blog and i tagged too :D
serene: haha it must have been a harrowing experience of seeing my sister. ugh. haha and no i dont look pretty wahh haha but nvm im used to it.
nicole: HELLO DEAR! how was camp! :D
chit: i wanted to comment on ur blog but somehow everytime i tried there was an error. so i shall say what i want to say here. -chit! please cheerups and sound happier wont you? immerse yourself in the good old memories of obs for a few days, but soon. you will move on darling. we all know that obs rocks. it was definitely an experience of a lifetime. so dont let obs or your instructor down yah dear? take those memories of obs and your instructor and what he has taught you in these 5 days and apply them in your life. trust me i know how youre feeling right now cos i felt like this too a year ago. but life gotta move on dear! email your instructor! or tag at the obs website and pray that he'll respond. elgene didnt. but i still love her nonetheless. cheerups chit. smile and be happy. like how i want you to be. :D
ann: heyas yea haha i guess we'll just take it when it comes. i still miss nymd 05 loads! the batch who made up hat full <333
kC: haha no i wasnt. boo bleah but nevermind. (:

-postGRACES camp
back from graces(: it was 3days 2nights of fun. the makeup and deportment courses were kinda boring tho :p DOZED OFF :D i love the d-marquee and downtown east! we were treated like queens with such good food every meal. buffet-style :D and we just keep on eating! breakfast lunch TEABREAK dinner supper. hahaha and the food were really GOOD. no kidding. YUMM. anyway yupps. formal dinner was really fun(: besides the good food. there was class parade and everything. oh! and the selection for ms confidence ms graceful and ms glam!:D got caught on the second night chased back to our rooms cos we had like 8 people in a room instead of 4 and we were pretty loud. wanteng and i were almost CAUGHT loitering outside again la cos bingyu was in the shower and didnt hear us knocking at the door! we ended up sleeping in zz's room. SHH. HHAA it was so fun :D
nanyang council president claire looked reallyreallyreally pretty that night. i think everyone was, except me. yupps. after that was dancing the night away which was real COOL. the modern dancers gathered around taking photos and went on stage to duh, dance. we were like doing jerk it out and best things and stuff on stage to the whatever music that was played. haha yay i love nymd. :D I MISS PROM!

dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me;

graces camp06 tmr! :D
just finished packing. haha i'll disappear from the net for like around 2nights HMMM. hahaha i hope graces camp gna be fun! but from the programme it's like nothing to do den they just fill the activities in with GAMES GAMES AND MORE GAMES. which is kinda sucky. anyway! i sense fun whenever i think of makeup and the formal dinner. haha today yijing was like saying: " i dont understand why are people caring so much about formal dinner? i mean, formal dinner. the main thing is the DINNER right?" hahaha yijing damn funny. and she was so nice to accompany me to harbourfront today to get stuff from my auntie :D

so BYE everyone! SAYONARA. i hope we'll all enjoy GRACES CAMP 06! pals, it's the last lifeskills camp we're having in nanyang! let's enjoy it.
oh yeah. this is important(:
403 JIAYOU FOR DANCE ITEM! -WE CAN DO IT :D

chori chori chori !

uhh. finally finished bio SIA but there's still LA portfolio to be done. ugh.

anyway i wonder what are chit and the sec3s doing at ubin right now! haha it's 11.17 they shld be uhmm. debriefing? haha i rmb i hated obs on the first day! but it was really an experience of a lifetime. heh i miss obs! but sec4 camp's in like ard a day's time? :D

got the sec4 lifeskills camp tee today(: the design is okay. it's at the side not like all the previous years where the logo is just right smack in the middle like ugh so ugly haha. the only problem (and it's a big problem) is it's yellow! BRIGHT YELLOW. shuhui was like saying how nice it is to see 400 bananas in nanyang school hall wedd morning. HAHA.

we dance for laughter
we dance for tears
we dance for madness
we dance for fears
we dance for hopes
we dance for screams

-we are the dancers;
we create the dreams.

nymd i love you;

nymd i love you
the sec ones of year 2006 came in today.
i know i shouldnt be saying this but im really kinda disappointed in them. not that i have any right to be. but i thought they will be better yknow. like they will dare to do stuff and ask questions and everything. not stone there not doing anything not clapping not cheering for your fellow dancemates and seniors even when you see us the seniors all apparently doing that. it's really tough to teach the new ones stuff and to bond with them when we just tried so hard to bond with the current sectwos and when it's alll happening things change and we need to start everything again. i cant help but thinking the current batch of sectwos, even though we have all gone through much tough times talking about bonding and stuff and much unhappiness- you guys have grown. i was still like wondering if the sec twos have really grown and matured through the one year you have been with us. today i'm definite. the past year has made a change in all of you. im proud of you guys.

today mr raj said smth like. the sec fours are all leaving soon. it was like a slap in my face. i always knew we were going to leave nymd someday but i never thought it will be so soon. four years passed just like that. spending each and every thursday afternoon and saturday morning in our dear beloved lovely studio. where we laughed and cried. trained so hard for ahatfullofstars. i dont want to leave.
was crying when i hugged nicole today perhaps just amazed at the rate things change and how we all gotta leave soon. overwhelmed. well, today zz made a valid point. when you feel hurt, it means you still feel. your heart is alive. quite true isnt it? when your heart is dead you wont feel anything. numb-ed. so am i supposed to feel happy now cos im feeling sad that we're all leaving cos it means i really love nymd? it's so contradicting. sometimes it's hard to love.
-i want nymd batch 2005 back! the batch which made up a hat full of stars. my loves.

streaks of tears running down my face;

i feel so accomplished.

two hours of shopping yesterday with my mom gained me a:
a) dress :D
b) silvery 3-inches heels!!! XP

uh! and one trip to harbourfront centre today with jiayuan and yueyang gained me blackest brown mascara and cherrytwinkle 3DGLITTERS lipstick kinda thing. hahaha i sound totally off. okay back on track. i wastes a hell lot of my mother's hard-earned money!

lifeskills camp is next week! :D but one night, and it'll be gone.